L.A.B.U.: Life After Break Up
Uploaded by pearlocampo on May 14, 2014
L.A.B.U.: Life After Break Up
You’ve been dating someone special for several weeks. Or months. Or even years. How long you’ve been together isn’t as important as the fact that you thought you were happy. No wonder this breakup came as a surprise. Were you the one who pushed it too hard? Did he/she find someone new? Did you lose the trust? Fell out of love? Or to make matters worse, their reasons for breaking up just don’t make sense (or so you think). Like out of left field, even.
Just when you thought that your partner then will be running after you in case worst comes to worst, that you thought that he/she is madly in love with you and that person is living on a mantra that spells out “I can’t live without you” suddenly called it quits. And you were faced immediately with your own battle of running back for that person, that you were the one who is madly in love and that you are living in your own mantra of “I’ll do anything for you” and yet nothing seems like working.
How do you cope when someone you care about ends your relationship? Here are four things you really need to do (plus one thing you’re going to do regardless of what anyone tells you to do):
Obsess (within reason). Let’s face it. You’re going to do this no matter what, and that’s okay (to a certain point!). It’s natural to wrestle with events we don’t understand, and if your partner’s reasons for breaking up seem lame to you, you’re undoubtedly struggling to wrap your head around it all. Give yourself permission to run through the history of the relationship, to try and figure out where things went south. Talking with a trusted friend might even help shed some light. Desperately wanting to figure things out is inevitable. It’s also part of grieving, which you’re starting to do. But even though it’s normal to find yourself obsessing over the things that you have done, “changed” and sacrificed, still the whats, hows and whys of it all is there, but this is not a place you want to get stuck. In other words, it may be an important stop on your journey back to joy, but don’t unpack your bags and sign a long-term lease.
Connect with someone. This isn’t the time to withdraw from people who love you. You’re going...